If I were in a sunnier mood I would be looking at how much I’ve accomplished, how far I’ve come and how good I could/should feel!
It’s a gray day and I’m looking at how much I have to do. Well, really, not so much what I have to do, there is just so much I want to do.
Does it ever feel like no matter how much you do, how much you accomplish or how many hours you work, that you will never get ahead of it all?
Do you ever want to hurry up and get it all done so you can relax? Yet our minds will always come up with more.
In my life I have so many projects sitting on the proverbial backburner. Outlines and notes for future books live in journals under my bed. Website names for future projects are already purchased waiting to be used.
Audio recordings of guided meditations are waiting to be uploaded to Youtube. Video recordings are coming as soon as I find the courage to be seen once again.
I know if I am going to keep up with the times I need to create videos and web classes.
But I’m a happy camper having a small group in my living room each week. I have good intentions of sharing these teachings online…someday.
And so it goes. There is so much I want to do. So many things I want to share in this lifetime, yet I often find myself doing a dance that feels like I am moving ever farther and farther away from expecations.
Last week someone new to my life looked me up on google. Lo and behond they came back to me and said, “You look like an overachiever!”
I was stunned. Not only have I never felt I was even close to achieving what I am capable of, I also have spent a lifetime trying to overcome a negative label given to me in childhood. That label was that I’m lazy.
In fact, I can be very laid back. My mother didn’t understand how I could be still and do nothing for long periods of time. I am at peace most of the time. Despite my long list of things I would like to do, be, have and accomplish in this lifetime, I also know how to be happy in this moment now, without those things, accomplishments or achievements.
I can sit and realize if I never go any farther, I’m okay with that. I’m at peace with what I have done, who I am and where I am in life. I am grateful for all the people I have met, whom I hopefully have blessed, and who have blessed me.
Yet as long as we are still here, there is more. We came to share, learn, grow, heal and love. So I keep making notes and planning my plan, thinking about my plan, and considering my plan. All the while I am happy with being.
Overachiever? No, not at all. Underachiever? No, that’s not right either.
A woman who is at peace with life. Yes.
For the last two years I have been still. I have stayed in one place for what is going to be a record for me. I was going so fast, that staying in one place sometimes feels like I am moving backwards.
When in fact, the staying still has allowed me to collect a lot of notes, consider a lot of ideas and take a few baby steps forward…
Find your pace. Then be at peace with however long it takes for you to do what you came to do. As long as you are at peace enjoying the journey then you are making a positive difference.
In love and light,