I’d been feeling really bogged down lately.
I was spending way too much time asking, ‘Why’ questions.
“Why are things the way they are? Why did that happen? Why isn’t this happening?”
I was spending my valuable time asking the questions of suffering, instead of thinking about how I would like things to be.
Then one day out walking trying to cheer myself up, a butterfly slapped me in the face. Just as I was beginning to look up, and just as I was beginning to notice the beautiful winged one coming toward me, it hit me.
Too late for me to get out of the way, all I could do was stand with my jaw open, thinking more thoughts of suffering.
“That butterfly just hit me! Why did that butterfly hit me? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t it get out of my way? Why would it want to hit me?”
Gee, I wonder…
So the well-intentioned butterfly did not succeed in waking me up, but it did get my attention.
As did the bat swooping low near my head, and the second and third bat that came in much too close for comfort. As I sat out under the moon praying for guidance to get out of my suffering signs right and left were flying around my head!
Instead of letting my mind connect with the wisdom of Bat, I felt afraid and kept my head down.
I knew I needed to let go, to transform and renew my mind. But like a dark addiction my brooding behavior clung to me.
I had settled into the murky world between what has passed and no longer exists and what is not yet formed.
It can be a boggy, dark world if one settles there.
So the butterfly slapped me, the bats swooped me and then finally the Dragonfly spoke to me.
Several dragonflies were buzzing me and my car the last few days. Each day as I paused to admire their beauty I heard them speaking to me, “Focus on where you want to be. Focus on what you do want…”
I listened, but I listened from down deep in the sloggy bog.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.” My ego answered.
I may have known, but I wasn’t living it.
My thoughts of, “What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong to end up back down here? Why don’t I feel enlightened today? What happened to the love?” only served to keep me in the muck and mire.
So today the Dragonfly buzzed inches in front of my nose.
“Okay, I’m listening,” I say surrendering completely to his presence by dropping my bag and keys to the ground.
He perched on the antenna of my daughters old yellow Cadillac. I watch him as he gets comfortable, folding his iridescent wings into a translucent body.
I step closer and study him. His alien looking deep blue eyes look right into mine.
Calm and in the moment, now I can hear.
And so he begins…
“Get out of the bog, Cat.”
“I know, I know…” I reply feeling a need to look down. I feel ashamed that I have allowed my mind to stray into dangerous places.
“Stop!” He shouts, “Now! Quit looking down. That’s an order!”
My head snaps up to attention and I look at his globular eyes, a bright light shining in the center of each.
“In order to break free from the bottom of the pond, you must focus up…”
The sunlight is hitting his translucent form so that all I can see now are his eyes.
“Think about where you want to be…”
“I am.” I defend myself, “I have been thinking about…”I begin to share my ideas but he knows already.
“You must think about it all the time now. Not just once in awhile. You must be where you long to be all the time. Be there in your mind all day. Maintain these thoughts by imagining what you want your entire day…”
“…it’s the only way to get out of the bog.”
I keep my focus on his eyes as he concludes.
“Look up and keep looking up.”
I nod affirmatively. I know he’s right.
I almost begin to ask myself again, “How did you let yourself get so down, Cat…” but I stop. I stop and think about what I want instead.
We say our affirmations and our prayers. We put energy in our ceremonies and rituals, meditate and give thanks. That can serve to keep us balanced, most of the time.
But when we hit a rough patch, any kind of crisis situation, if we don’t put more energy into staying positive we can end up in a dark, slimy, toxic place very quickly.
There is plenty of toxic stuff floating around us. If we wallow too long in the sticky stories and negative thoughts we will wonder why we can’t get out. If we delay our own transformations, we will be lingering too long in the bog.
Keep looking up – all day long.
Stay focused on what you want and know you can overcome the darkness.
Dragonfly says we must stay focused on rising up. There is a new world of Beauty, Love, Joy, Abundance, Unity and Peace. But it doesn’t exist at the bottom of the pond.
We have to go up. We have to fly up out of the muck and move through the invisible barriers of our limited minds.
Today keep your thoughts on what is good. Keep your focus on what you want to see.
Keep your eyes and ears open to the wisdom and beauty of the butterflies and dragonflies.
They will show us how to enter into this beautiful new world. It is all around us, when we remember to look up.
Looking up through the eyes of love,
We are all in the Gutter, but some of us are looking at the Stars.